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Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. Fleshlight It's like if Ed Gein got into porn and collected just one body part. Don't have an account. Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. Many people claim the Fleshlight is even better than the real thing, at which point we're left to consider whether by "real thing" they mean their hand -- which of course they don't mean -- or an actual human vagina -- which, sadly, they do mean. It's as simple as that. Nowadays, we have robots that will give us space-age handies with a kung fu grip and lube designed by NASA, I assume.

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It's not work. it's personal grooming. Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Back in the day, you wouldn't dare touch your precious genitals with your sinister devil's paw. Don't make me do this again. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

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Has technology improved the wank. These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower. So in a way, technology has indeed changed the way you jerk off -- and maybe even made it feel better, or at least different. Masturbatory scientists have been at it for a long time heh.

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Description: I agree to the Terms of Service. It knows just what you like, and if you're not too callused or maybe you are and you dig texture , then it feels just fine, too. Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. You're cleaning your pipes. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done. The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky.
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